What’s fifteen minutes? Is it the time it takes to find where your child has hidden your car keys, the time it takes to get your family to sit down at the table for dinner, or the time that’s gone by since we said “okay I’m just getting off pinterest now”? No matter what it is its Time and we’re devoting it to something, somewhere, or someone. I recently picked back up on daily dialogues my husband. We learned to dialogue at a marriage encounter during our first year of marriage. Attending the encounter changed the dynamics of our relationship tremendously. We heard stories of marriages from every aspect of the spectrum. Each couple admitting that the simple task of daily dialogues changed the path of their marriage for the better. I thought to myself my marriage is great and fifteen minutes can make it even better, well I’m in!
So what exactly a daily dialogue? To dialogue you simply pick a daily topic question for you and your spouse to answer, take 5 minutes to write out your responses (Yes write out, remember that thing called notebook paper? Kicking it old school; no typing or texting in this activity), and then take the remaining 10 minutes to read and reflect (aloud) on your spouse’s answers. Before you know it you won’t be doing a daily chore; you’ll be laughing and communicating with your spouse; being married. Notice how your time tracking disappears and you may end up spending 30 minutes enjoying daily dialogues with your spouse. Ignore the happenings of life around you so that the life within your marriage can receive the oxygen of communication, grace, and love.
It’s better if the questions are uplifting but they can be a reflection of wherever you currently are in your relationship. I’ll give some basic examples of questions you can use when you’re in the “for better’ stage in your relationship as well as some questions to discuss when you may be experiencing the “for worse” stage.
What was your favorite part about our first date?
Remember a time when you felt appreciated by your spouse; what did he/she do to make you feel appreciated?
What promises did we make to each other at our wedding? How do I feel about my obligation to keep those promises?
Reflect on your highest and lowest moment of the day; how did each moment make you feel?
I enjoy leaving my answers on my husband’s pillow for him to read and write back at night before bed. It’s always great to go to bed smiling. You could also tape your dialogue to the mirror the night before so that your spouse sees it in the morning, drop a note in your spouse’s lunch pail, or leave it on their plate to read before dinner. Be genuine in your responses and write out your answer before reading your spouse’s so that you are not tempted to change your dialogue to match. Uplifting your spouse should be a daily obligation.
I will post future blogs with more examples of dialogue questions. If you have any ideas for questions please leave them in the comments area to share with other readers. Thanks for visiting!
With Grace & Love,
LaVondaMarie Life Coach