This morning I’ve realized I often forget to check with my heart when my mind is running wild trying to make multiple decisions; weighing every option until I’ve out done myself and figured out a way to make something that is entirely possible seem impossible. More often it’s my mind that asks the questions and make heart that makes the statements; and oh how imperative those statements are. Right now, for example, my heart is telling me “Get that Master’s degree now you want it eventually so quit stalling.” All the while my mind is asking “How much will that cost in taxes?” “Didn’t college kick your butt the first time around are you ready for that again?” “Do you really think you’re Master’s level material?”…Brain meet heart; heart meet brain… Any woman or any person for that matter, who lets God into her heart, and then lets her heart lead her and her mind keep one foot grounded and the other foot just high enough off the ground to believe in miracles, is a threat to doubt.
So the logical question is how do we achieve this balance of mind and heart working in alliance while also compensating for the others weaknesses? We work backwards. Human instinct is in a way like gymnastics. You start out with the beautiful perfect score of 10. A gymnastics judge’s job is to literally break down all the faults of your performance and then tell you how off of the perfect score you were. In that same way our brains, when acting without the confidence of our hearts, see or perceive a thought or situation and then add doubt, judgment, and insecurity and we are then left with the things that were not afraid of. Sometimes the best things in life are the ones that make your mind tremble in fear. Will my heart be broken? Will I fail? How am I going to get through this?
First, start with the visual things. Write out the things your heart desires most. For me that could look something like this:
1.) I want to be a Master’s level professional.
- I want to be a coordinator of an education institute, non-profit organization, or in diversity relations.
- I want to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to
- I want to have the tools and knowledge to be a more effective leader
After you’ve done this put the paper down and go do something you love. For me this may be date night, family dinner, getting lost in a book, exercising, blogging ;), or going on a picnic. When your mind and body have been stimulated with happiness they are more likely to be in sync with your heart, your faith, and your sense of self-confidence. Second, use your mind to analyze the things on your list and find out what they really mean. Looking at my list I notice that I am preparing for greater career development and that I value education.
It’s okay to ask the W’s, who, what, where, when, why, but when you start to focus too much and too long on the dreadful ‘H word’ that’s when the doubt begins. “How?”, should be a tool and not a weapon. When you ask “How?”, it should be asked in a way that helps you gain knowledge and not in a way that makes you doubt your own abilities, or the abilities of your creator. If you ask yourself “how can I do this” or “how would I make it work” and then you don’t follow that question up with research and faith, then it simply becomes just a doubtful statement. When these questions and followed by determination and method, that’s when you’re on to something.
So I’m considering getting my Master’s. My doubts are even though I’ll receive tuition grant will I be able to afford the taxes and additional cost? Will it be as stressful as my undergrad semesters? How much time will this take away from my family? Will I choose the right degree? Right before I was about to throw in the towel, give in the thoughts or the impossible, and consider another undergrad degree out of fear of the big bad Master program, I got a text from a friend that said “btw super proud of you…u have a pretty bright future ahead of you. Jus lean on God” (Thanks Keshia). If she only knew what a saving grace that was. I don’t know if I’ll go back to school or what other decisions my heart will lead me to; but I’m remember to have my heart remind my brain that WE CAN DO THIS! So, start your list and let me know how it goes. I’m excited to see your hearts beating in the middle of your mind as you realize; I CAN DO THIS.
With Grace & Love,